117 - Before Going to Sleep

Shower taken, towel on the floor, skin still warm. The house silent. I went to the kitchen to get water. But water wasn't what I wanted. The cold countertop against my skin. And that vibrator I'd kept in the drawer waiting for the right night—which was this one. I started slowly. Leaning there, between the sink and the stove, without noise, without haste, just feeling. The whole house was asleep and I was awake, feeling each wave rise higher. When it was over, my legs trembled. I drank the water. I went back to bed. Nobody heard anything. Nobody knew anything. Only I—and the kitchen—know what happened there before I went to sleep.

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